600 ESL Short Stories from New York City with Normal/Slow Audio
The black number following each title is the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level (0.1→6.5 = easiest→hardest); see Wikipedia.

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If you like these NYC Stories, buy the 99-cent book! Stories #1-#540 online are now an e-book: English Learner 500 Short Stories for Beginner-Intermediate, ISBN: 978-0-9915994-0-0.
English Learner is available at Amazon-Kindle, Apple iBooks, Barnes & Noble--Nook, Blio (search: English Learner 500), Google Play, Kobo, Samsung Hub app, and Vook Store.
It's only 99 cents! That's 50 stories for a dime.
Teachers: All 540 story titles are accompanied by Flesch-Kincaid Grade Levels (0.1-6.5) and Flesch Reading Ease Scores (see Wikipedia).
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1. Eat, Sleep, and Think Burgers   2.1
2. Stuff Your Face, Then Diet   2.0
3. A Chance of Rain, or Not   3.6
4. Four Hours of Energy   2.6
5. Cat and Dog Discuss Humans   2.5
6. A Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge (1)   3.7
7. A Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge (2)   3.2
8. A Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge (3)   1.3
9. A Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge (4)   2.4
10. A Laptop Problem (1)   2.9
11. A Laptop Problem (2)   2.7
12. Step Down (1)   1.5
13. Step Down (2)   2.7
14. A Rising Dumpster   2.0
15. Everyone Just Stood There   2.4
16. Teacher Laid Off   1.4
17. J-Lo at Macy's   3.3
18. Knock, Knock, Knock!   1.2
19. A Fast Breakfast   3.3
20. One Person at a Time   3.5
21. Whose Fault Was It?   0.9
22. Her Dental Visit   1.6
23. Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite   3.5
24. Hairy Ears   1.7
25. A Note from the Teacher   1.8
26. I Can't Stop My Car!   4.1
27. A Baffling Sculpture (1)   2.3
28. A Baffling Sculpture (2)   2.2
29. Five Words of Love   1.0
30. A Black TV Screen   1.1
31. Who Cares About Germs?   2.0
32. It's Them Again   2.0
33. Let's Clean Those Teeth (1)   3.0
34. Let's Clean Those Teeth (2)   2.7
35. Those Loud Commercials   3.2
36. All Aboard the LIRR (1)   2.2
37. All Aboard the LIRR (2)   1.1
38. What Package?   2.1
39. The Last Stop   2.1
40. "That Was Easy!"   0.9
41. Drive to the LA Airport (1)   2.7
42. Drive to the LA Airport (2)   1.8
43. Where's My Safety Razor?   3.5
44. An Island Full of Animals   3.7
45. What Size Do You Wear?   2.2
46. Go for the Gold   2.9
47. A Hard History Test   3.1
48. Snow Globe Collector   1.5
49. Less Money for Swimming Pools   4.3
50. But We're in Love!   1.6
51. The Subway Talker   0.8
52. You Call That a Tip?   1.1
53. A Grocery Mystery (1)   2.9
54. A Grocery Mystery (2)   2.4
55. When 47 Equals 50   2.4
56. A Senior Discount at the Movies   2.8
57. A Dog's Life   1.0
58. The Seat Was Down Earlier   2.0
59. Pass the Gas   1.8
60. Let Those Eyebrows Grow!   1.5
61. Let It Snow, Let It Snow   2.0
62. Don’t Slip on the Ice   1.7
63. A Stolen Baby   2.5
64. A Bucket of Chicken (1)   2.8
65. A Bucket of Chicken (2)   2.5
66. A Doctor Appointment in October   2.6
67. Why Is the Teacher Late?   3.0
68. Take These Ugly Ties Back!   2.1
69. Make New Friends in Class   3.6
70. The Camera Manual Is No Help   4.1
71. Plenty to Say to No One   5.7
72. Can I Borrow Rent Money?   1.4
73. A Food Pill for the Future   5.4
74. The Magic Frog   1.8
75. Halos on Parallel Earth   3.5
76. Fingerprints on the Glass   1.1
77. Where Did the Mustard Go?   2.5
78. Invest $2 in the Lottery (1)   1.6
79. Invest $2 in the Lottery (2)   3.0
80. No More Ultimate Fighting   2.1
81. A Thief in the Waiting Room   3.1
82. Small Bedrooms for Big Bucks   2.1
83. Jury Duty near Chinatown (1)   5.2
84. Jury Duty near Chinatown (2)   3.7
85. Renting a Manhattan Apartment   3.4
86. Stop Sleeping and Start Writing   0.8
87. A Dangerous Light Bulb   1.9
88. Search for a Legal-Size Envelope   3.6
89. An Unsafe Hotel Carpet (1)   3.2
90. An Unsafe Hotel Carpet (2) 2  .6
91. Porn in the Library   3.5
92. Superman at the Driving Range (1)   2.8
93. Superman at the Driving Range (2)   2.0
94. Angry Words for the Boss   2.6
95. Here Comes the Bride!   5.8
96. Love Guides Her Day (1)   1.5
97. Love Guides Her Day (2)   3.3
98. A Killer House Cat   1.8
99. A Mean Guy in School (1)   0.9
100. A Mean Guy in School (2)   1.3
101. Why Cry About It?   1.6
102. Her Nose Is Running (1)   2.7
103. Her Nose Is Running (2)   1.3
104. Take a Little off the Back   1.2
105. A Bridge No More (1)   3.8
106. A Bridge No More (2)   3.0
107. Feel the Bananas   2.2
108. A Visit to the Statue of Liberty (1)   2.6
109. A Visit to the Statue of Liberty (2)   3.1
110. Food for the Potted Plants   1.6
111. Subway Rider Needs Help   1.6
112. Police! Open the Door!   2.0
113. It's Nice to Meet You—Not!   2.3
114. The World's Greatest City   4.3
115. Doctor Cures a Bad Memory   2.6
116. A Bike for the City   1.0
117. A Red Bike on Display   0.7
118. I Love New York City!   3.7
119. A Bad Restaurant Table   4.5
120. It's Only Money, They Say   2.6
121. A Conflicted Man on the Sidewalk   1.7
122. Don't Jump out of Windows   2.3
123. All I Want Is You   1.7
124. He Remembers Only the Good Things   2.4
125. A Loyal Customer   2.9
126. A Big Man with No Manners   2.6
127. In Praise of Dear, Departed Dad   1.8
128. A Good Day for Fishing   2.3
129. A Schoolboy's Answered Prayer   2.8
130. Don't Spoil It for Me   0.6
131. The Right Stock at the Right Time (1)   5.7
132. The Right Stock at the Right Time (2)   3.6
133. Drug Addict Shoots Four People   5.2
134. A Reckless Driver in Manhattan   3.4
135. A High School Graduation Gift   4.0
136. He Knows When He'll Die   2.3
137. Where Did Her Sock Go?   2.1
138. Mom's Missing Headstone   1.9
139. Are the New Socks 100% Cotton?   2.5
140. A Sunny Fourth of July in Manhattan   1.8
141. Powerball Ticket Price Doubles   3.8
142. Please Fix the TV Captions   2.9
143. Don't Drink the Bathroom Water   1.3
144. A Colorful Front Yard   1.8
145. The Go-Ring Gets His Attention   2.5
146. Till Death Do Us Part   1.7
147. Turn the Temperature Up   2.2
148. Don't Try on This Shirt   1.4
149. Did He Cut in Line?   1.6
150. Someday I'll Be a Star, Too   2.9
151. Tiger Is Dead! Long Live Tiger!   1.8
152. Please Return My Umbrella   2.4
153. The Tall Boy Who Bragged   3.2
154. His Lips Aren't Moving   1.3
155. Wipe Your Feet!   0.2
156. Three for Him, One for Her   1.2
157. A Parade in New York City   3.0
158. Where Are My Keys?   1.5
159. Can You Add Three Little Numbers?   3.5
160. A Postcard and a Wedding   4.4
161. I Hate My Name   0.5
162. Protesters Don't Like Wall Street   3.1
163. Oily Beans Make Tasty Coffee   2.3
164. Need a Taxi? He Can Help   1.8
165. The Twin Reflecting Pools at WTC   3.1
166. Where Are My Free Quick Picks?   2.6
167. The Laptop Hums Loudly   1.9
168. A Good Deal on a Used Book   2.9
169. The Bicycle Pump at K-Mart   0.6
170. What's the Name of This Museum?   3.0
171. I'd Prefer Half Your Winnings   2.0
172. I Would Never Buy This Place!   3.3
173. Do You Work Well with Others?   2.9
174. A Sticker on Every Apple   2.8
175. A Few Words from the Sponsor   2.0
176. New Job, New Shirts   3.1
177. Superman Lives Here   3.5
178. Booze and Concrete Don't Mix   3.3
179. A Not So Young "Young Man"   1.3
180. She Isn't a Patient Patient   3.9
181. Big Pitcher, Little Spout   1.3
182. If the Shoe Fits, Wear It   3.7
183. Pink Doesn't Mean He's Gay   1.2
184. Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village   2.0
185. Can't Everyone Just Bow?   1.2
186. Are They Bowling Upstairs?   1.8
187. Pay the Postage Due   3.6
188. Thanks for Coming to the Party   3.4
189. An Umbrella for Only $7   5.2
190. I Want to Be Rich and Famous   0.7
191. The Commercials Are More Interesting   1.8
192. I Don't Want to Hear Your Song   2.1
193. Your Noise Right Back at You   3.0
194. Hire Me for $20 an Hour   2.3
195. A Soda for His New Girlfriend   0.5
196. A Pain in the Shoulder   4.1
197. The Bi-Coastal Cat   2.8
198. Wipe the Dust off the Blinds   0.1
199. A Pothole Is a Lifesaver   2.2
200. The Cow with Two Tails   1.5
201. The Mouse That Roared   1.4
202. He Got a Good Deal on the Old Car   1.7
203. Banana Head Seeks Work   1.8
204. Brother, Can You Spare a Grand?   2.1
205. A Turkey Day to Remember   2.8
206. Lottery Ticket Is Now $2   4.7
207. Chinese New Year Visitor   2.7
208. Invitation to a U.N. Concert   3.4
209. They're Kicking Us Out   2.4
210. How to Buy a Leather Jacket   1.9
211. Open (Grunt!) That Package   4.6
212. Student Dentist, Starving Patient   3.5
213. Magic Pill for a Longer Life   2.8
214. Valentine's Day Roses--A Day Late   6.1
215. Time to Pay Taxes   5.7
216. The School Job Interview   2.1
217. A Cable TV Problem   2.9
218. You Have to Ask Your Wife?!   1.5
219. He Never Complained   3.0
220. She Wants to Come to America   4.3
221. A Genie in a Bottle   0.9
222. The Colonoscopy   5.4
223. Drunk Gets Hit by Car   1.3
224. They Understand Her Better Now   0.8
225. He Hates His Life   1.7
226. Lasagna in Little Italy   2.3
227. He Saves Tot from Train   3.1
228. The World's Greatest Fighter 4.8
229. They'll Deliver It Tomorrow   3.5
230. She Dreams About Grandma   2.0
231. A Big, Fat NYC Cookie   0.7
232. A Pizza a Day   4.6
233. When a Million Isn't Enough   3.9
234. The Cat Whisperer   1.8
235. Can I Undo That Wish?   1.4
236. How About Banning Cigarettes?   4.3
237. Where Is That Winning Ticket?   4.7
238. Pay Them, and They Will Come   3.8
239. The World's Favorite Candy Bar   4.4
240. Two Heavy Grocery Bags   1.6
241. New Hangover Cure   4.5
242. The Wheelchair Race   1.6
243. NYPD: Bike Tickets Galore   5.8
244. A Lucky Blind Person   3.4
245. The Knuckleball Pitcher   2.3
246. Pink Slime in Ground Beef   1.1
247. A Stolen Butterfinger   1.4
248. Bike Rider Gets Help   2.7
249. His First Acting Audition   4.0
250. Yellow Notes on the TV Set   1.1
251. Wash, Dry, and Forget   2.4
252. Proud of His Average Son   1.7
253. A Name Can Change You   2.5
254. He's Moving to Greener Pastures   1.8
255. She’s All Ears   2.2
256. Little Stickers on Your Fruit   2.3
257. New, Stained Pajamas   2.4
258. But It IS in SoHo   2.9
259. Cats Attack, Hubby Snaps Away   3.2
260. A Million-Dollar Son   2.9
261. The Bicycle Show   2.8
262. Born to Ride   2.8
263. Real Cop or Phony Cop?   3.0
264. Pooch Is Their Only Child   0.6
265. Something Rotten in 5B   2.3
266. A Short but Slow Line   2.1
267. Food Festival Closes at 9   3.8
268. She Has to Go #1   2.7
269. Red Bike Tires   1.4
270. Dial BR for Bank Robbery   1.7
271. Dirty Menu, Dirty Glasses   1.6
272. A Free New Testament   0.2
273. The Facebook IPO   5.7
274. Use Money to Make Money   2.8
275. Ride with the Traffic   1.0
276. The Dangerous Paper Clip   2.3
277. Bikers Breaking Rules   3.5
278. A Perfect Game   3.4
279. An IPO Market Order   4.2
280. Eye Drops for Itchy Eyes   2.1
281. Moving on Up   1.0
282. Why Kill a Child?   3.6
283. Quick and Easy Shopping   3.9
284. Fleet Week in NYC   3.1
285. Good Steak, Bad Seat   5.2
286. Smoker Seeks Nonsmoker   1.4
287. It's Not "What" You Know   3.4
288. Lots of Meat and Feet   2.8
289. A Way with Oranges   1.8
290. Two Loud Escalator Riders   3.3
291. It's Not the Express Elevator   3.5
292. The World's Greatest Doctor   3.0
293. Twin Towers or Freedom Tower?   3.1
294. Regret the Action Not Taken   5.4
295. The Blackberry Trackball   3.9
296. The Doctor Likes Face Time   2.9
297. Enter to Win $50,000   3.2
298. That "Old People" Smell   2.2
299. Don't Cut in Line   2.9
300. The Uppity Renter   2.7
301. Can You Hear Me Now?   1.4
302. Flower Shop Fails to Deliver   3.1
303. She Loves One, Kisses Another   2.5
304. Find a Queue That Moves   2.3
305. My Wife's Better Than Yours   2.9
306. Meet New People on the Subway   1.7
307. The Cable Guy   2.4
308. The End of Graffiti?   4.7
309. A World of Silent Humans   3.7
310. Bad Breath, Dandruff, and Acne   2.6
311. A Grumpy DMV Clerk   3.8
312. The Subway Push   1.7
313. A Manager Without Manners   2.4
314. The Wrong Web Site   3.0
315. His Computer Is His Master   4.4
316. Communicate Well to Succeed   5.6
317. Curb Your Dog   1.8
318. The Spirit Is Within You   0.5
319. A Pain in the Ear   2.2
320. Human or Plastic?   2.9
321. A Rose Tattoo   1.8
322. No Time for Tears   2.4
323. Mom the Matchmaker   2.4
324. Bring Your Cold to Work   1.7
325. Do You See Me!?   3.1
326. Golf Isn't Her Bag   2.8
327. Monkey See, Monkey Do   3.1
328. The Visit to Shake Shack   2.4
329. The Gay Pride Parade   3.6
330. No More Standing in Line   2.8
331. A Trip to Intrepid Museum   3.2
332. Don’t Cough into the Fridge   1.7
333. Golf Fan Wants a Homer   4.4
334. A Marriage Problem   3.1
335. New Yorkers Are Polite   3.7
336. The Perfect Wife   3.3
337. Kill and Be Killed in NYC   2.8
338. Want Rain? Push This Button   1.3
339. Cleaner Men's Rooms in D.C.   3.5
340. A Stranger in the Elevator   1.6
341. Underarm Odor   2.0
342. The Invisible Man   2.9
343. I Used to Heart NY   4.6
344. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall   4.9
345. Chew, Smack, Chew, Smack   3.0
346. A Cheap Grandpa   2.6
347. Fine, but not Dandy   2.3
348. I Have a Better Man for You   3.4
349. A Plain, Cold Blanket   2.7
350. Blind Girl Looks Normal   2.4
351. A New Laptop (1)   5.3
352. A New Laptop (2)   4.5
353. A New Laptop (3)   3.6
354. A New Laptop (4)   5.5
355. A New Laptop (5)   4.4
356. An Out-of-Control Printer (1)   4.0
357. An Out-of-Control Printer (2)   3.2
358. An Out-of-Control Printer (3)   3.0
359. Your Questions Annoy Me (1)   4.4
360. Your Questions Annoy Me (2)   2.8
361. Where'd My Suitcase Go?   2.5
362. The Accidental Big Tipper   3.4
363. The Whiny Voter   4.5
364. Survivor Is 500 Years Old   3.4
365. The Smelly Subway Panhandler   1.8
366. Tough Love from the Soda Machine   3.8
367. Big Boys Don't Cry   2.0
368. Get-Well Card for One   4.1
369. Where Can I Buy Groceries?   3.8
370. New DVD Cable Causes Discord   2.8
371. One Couple, Two Beds   2.8
372. A Modern Sleeping Beauty   3.7
373. Who Passed the Gas?   1.6
374. A Blankety-Blank CD   3.7
375. A Computer Warranty   2.1
376. Lotto Jackpot Is $550 Million   5.4
377. Rich Lady Tries to Cheat Store   2.7
378. Chompers and Gulpers in Theater   4.3
379. Be an Eagle or a Bug   3.9
380. Long Live Twinkies   2.6
381. May-December Wedding   2.7
382. Robot Love   2.8
383. Honor the Living   3.1
384. Where Did the Oceans Go?   5.2
385. Foot Trapped in Train Doors   2.4
386. Vote or Die   3.4
387. Colorful Folks on the Train   3.5
388. Super-Thin Body Armor   2.6
389. Naughty or Nice?   1.4
390. Peter the Peepot   1.5
391. Eye of the Tiger   3.7
392. Stand Up So I Can Sit Down   0.1
393. Cows, Cats, and Dogs   3.2
394. TVs That Listen   3.4
395. Who's the Stupid One?   3.0
396. The Truth About Santa   2.4
397. Shopping with Avatars   5.3
398. Orange Rectangle Is Bad News   3.5
399. Open the Darn Package!   2.8
400. Teddy Bear for Sale   3.4
401. My Tired Uncle   2.6
402. Love You Too   1.5
403. One with the Tiger   4.2
404. The Foot-Long Sub   4.4
405. The On-Off Buttons   3.4
406. The Most Important Sense   1.8
407. Tow, Tow, Tow Your Boat   3.6
408. Dancing Tomatoes   3.3
409. Turn That Frown Upside Down   2.7
410. This Candy Is Too Good   2.4
411. Christmas Pizza for All   2.1
412. Death on the NYC Rails   5.1
413. The Sky Is Falling   3.6
414. Rainbow Underwear   3.4
415. Why Did I Open This Cabinet?   1.8
416. Cats Slaughter Billions   3.6
417. A Shout Out for Silent TV   5.2
418. I'm in NYC, but Where?   4.2
419. The Surprise House Guest   3.1
420. The Chair Kicker   2.6
421. Is There Someone Else?   1.3
422. Sidewalks You Can Eat Off   3.7
423. The Slide Rule Rules   6.1
424. Sleeping with One Eye Open   2.1
425. Much Older Than He Looks   4.4
426. Opened Window, Closed Mouth   2.5
427. Oranges All Day, Every Day   2.8
428. The Pill with No Future   3.7
429. Don't Talk to Me Like That   1.6
430. The Tiny Office Fridge   3.4
431. The Old College Try   2.3
432. Perfume, Coffee, and Cats   3.1
433. Thaiger, or Tiger?   5.5
434. Facelook Hosts Daily Birthday Party   6.4
435. Lazy, Spoiled, or Both?   2.5
436. Burn a Pile of Cash   2.7
437. Don't Hit Him in the Head   3.3
438. The Pursuit of Meaning   3.5
439. You Scratch My Back…   2.9
440. Your Future Is Before You   2.3
441. Listen to Your Body   2.4
442. TV Ads—Up Close and Personal   5.0
443. Floating in the Ocean   2.4
444. Stay Informed—Read the Paper   2.9
445. The World's Greatest Invention   3.9
446. Complaining Wives   2.2
447. You Don't Look Hurt to Me   1.2
448. How Important Is "The News"?   4.4
449. A Little Snip Here…   2.0
450. Here's Your $2 Back   2.0
451. Dirty Bathroom Angers Wife   1.0
452. A Free Magazine Subscription   2.9
453. Teacher Frets About Handout   3.8
454. Is There a Largebone Too?   3.5
455. Standing on the Corner   1.7
456. Stomach Trumps Heart   1.2
457. Did You Wash Your Hands?   2.9
458. NYC Is So Exciting   2.5
459. Bedbugs Be Gone!   2.0
460. Put on Your Thinking Cap   4.2
461. Barefoot with Hand Out   2.3
462. Drink Your Own Tea   1.8
463. The Fast Food Worker   2.0
464. Tattoo You   3.5
465. Those People Will Never Change   3.1
466. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn   2.1
467. A Place for Everything…   3.9
468. 9/11 Won't Happen Again   5.2
469. Two Lotteries in Two Nights   4.7
470. Angel Breath   3.3
471. Aim Your TV Remote Higher   1.9
472. He Paid His Debt   1.2
473. How Do You Know Me?   1.5
474. Is This Your Shake or Mine?   2.6
475. No More Pets for Her   0.9
476. Whiskers Are for Plucking   1.5
477. Bottoms Up Before You Buy   1.5
478. Little Boy Meets Metal Box   2.7
479. A Boy's Birthday Bike   2.4
480. Maybe the Train Will Be Late   2.3
481. Nice People Are So…Nice   3.6
482. She Used the Wrong Credit Card   2.9
483. The Arena Will Always Look Old   2.0
484. Where Is That Thumb Drive?   2.9
485. Baseball Fans Balk at Prices   4.9
486. Watch Where You Sit   1.6
487. A Street Sign for Stilt Walkers   2.4
488. A Pretty Woman Is a Pretty Woman   4.6
489. Cramps That Curl His Toes   2.6
490. I Cried Because I Had No Shoes   2.7
491. The Girl Who Stopped Eating   3.2
492. What Was That Blur?   2.8
493. How to Meet Girls   2.6
494. Take These New Shoes Back   3.7
495. Your Phone or Your Life   3.1
496. Walk Around Me   3.9
497. Little Pill for Big Brother   4.9
498. A Good Deal on a Cane   2.3
499. A Lifetime of Stupidity   4.0
500. Bump in the Night   3.3
501. The Greatest Putt Ever Made   6.0
502. Young Ballplayer Hates Gravity   2.9
503. Nothing Like the Real Thing   4.5
504. Where Did All the Fish Go?   2.6
505. Worried About His Wife   3.3
506. Too Drive to Drunk   3.6
507. The Truth About a Tooth   2.4
508. Free Money for Straphangers   2.1
509. New, Improved EZ English   6.5
510. Action Movies Bore Brothers   4.3
511. Voted Most Popular at Picnics   3.2
512. He Calls Himself a Writer   2.4
513. 30 Years of Shuffling Paper   3.4
514. Silent, but—Colorful   1.6
515. Heavy Groceries, Long Walk   4.7
516. The Missing Marker Cap   2.4
517. The World's 2nd Greatest Invention   3.4
518. A Penthouse for Only $40K   2.9
519. A "Hello" from Behind   2.9
520. Shoo, Pigeons! Scat, Pigeons!   3.4
521. Bananas 1, Milk 0   2.4
522. Your English Isn't Very Good   1.7
523. Whose Home Is This?   2.6
524. An Ice Cold Classroom   4.9
525. Cart Fight at High Noon   3.2
526. Boo-ya! in Your Face   3.8
527. Where'd the Graffiti Go?   2.8
528. Where'd His Wife Go?   2.0
529. Bikes Are for Riding   3.0
530. Where's My New York 1?   4.4
531. Not My Brother's Keeper   1.7
532. B.O. to Go   4.1
533. It's One Way the OTHER Way   3.0
534. Forget Me Not   5.4
535. TGIF   5.0
536. From Bed to Beyond   2.4
537. Man Gets Dog's Nose   2.8
538. Be Nice to LGBT   3.3
539. Baseball—A Game of Words   2.7
540. Give Me Some Elbow Room   3.3
541. Fishing for Compliments   1.7
542. T-Shirts for Hook-Ups   4.0
543. Be Nice or Don't Graduate   4.6
544. Do the Right Thing   2.5
545. Old Lady Tries to Cut in Line   2.1
546. A New Toilet Seat, Returned   1.9
547. Snail Mail vs. Snail Fax   3.4
548. Happy Thanksgiving!   5.5
549. A Little Help Down the Stairs   1.8
550. Tew Plus Foor Izz Ayt!   6.5
551. Train Wreck: Lost Life, Lost Honor   2.7
552. Toss and Turn All Night   1.9
553. Ho $, Ho $, Ho $   2.3
554. Superman Rides the Q Train   3.8
555. A Shot in the Dark   2.0
556. The Electric Shaver Savior   5.5
557. I'm Always Here for You…Well, Maybe   1.3
558. Bake It Black   2.5
559. If They're Old, They're Dirty   3.4
560. You Talking to Me?   3.1
561. If You Can't Trust Your Doctor,…   5.6
562. TP Doesn't Grow on Trees, You Know   2.8
563. Can't Sleep? Meet My Feet!   2.6
564. Laundry Watch   2.7
565. Clock Me Out, Please   2.2
566. Even Steven   1.9
567. Counter Offensive   0.8
568. Soap Suds and Clean Duds   4.9
569. A Gift for Sale   3.4
570. Dinner and a Movie   3.5
571. Doctor, Heel Yourself   2.3
572. We All Scream for…Gelato!   3.3
573. Who's the Boss of You?   3.7
574. Ten Big One$ in the Big Apple   2.8
575. Spidey Scales Spire of 1WTC   6.5
576. A Kiss Is Just a Kiss   3.4
577. The Paper Chase   1.9
578. Time Waits for—This Baby   2.5
579. Life of Pi   3.7
580. Words of Love from His Wife   1.1
581. Asking Will Make Her "Nupset"   2.9
582. Sucko Lotto   5.2
583. What's in a (File) Name?   3.9
584. Everything Everywhere Is a Story   4.4
585. It Fires Banana Seeds   3.3
586. Plane Lost, Blame Found   3.1
587. A Family That Shops Together   2.2
588. Your Dime, Your Whine   5.2
589. The Big Apple Gets Its Apple   3.5
590. Ma and Pa Drive to NYC   3.1
591. The Grass Is Always Greener   3.3
592. Ear, Nose, Throat—Feet   3.1
593. Too Ugly for Friendship   3.2
594. A Cheap NYC Hotel   2.5
595. A Voodoo Doll in His Image   2.5
596. The Spire Makes It Higher   4.8
597. Captain Kirk Is in the House   4.4
598. Back to Square One   2.6
599. How to Open a Plastic Produce Bag   2.1
600. He Offers Them His Seat   3.9
601. Who Do You Want to Be?   6.5
602. Cat Attacks Dog Attacks Boy   5.5
603. His Only Aunt Dies   4.3
604. The Laziest Boy in the World   1.2
605. Work Till You Drop   2.6
606. Train Surfers Need More Training   1.2
607. The Metro Card with Feet   2.7
608. Free Lunches for All!   4.5
609. Grandpa and His Legacy   4.6
610. Gigabytes That Takeabyte   3.8
611. Bridge Jumpers vs. Track Jumpers   4.4
612. All Devices Should Beep Loudly Constantly   3.2
613. 2,4,8,16, 32,… = A Whole New You!   0.8
614. Oh, to Have a Plump Rump   3.0
615. The Inker That Tinkered   3.5
616. She Never Knew What Didn't Hit Her   3.9
617. Don't Do ANYTHING Except Drive   2.0
618. What's a 3-Letter Word for "Cool"?   3.3
619. Where Will the Homeless Sleep?   2.6
620. Popeye Meets MJ Meets Balloon Dog   5.1
621. Find a Spot at Noon, or Watch the Fireworks on TV   4.2
622. How Soon We Forget   4.4
623. Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones,…   2.5
624. First Things First Every Morning   4.0
625. How About Acting Like a Grown-up?   2.7
626. Cramps with Amps   3.7
627. Oldest Living Person Hasn't Lost It Yet   3.2
628. Wtd: NYC Bldg Inspectors—NoExpNec   6.5
629. Who Would Suspect a Third Grader?   1.6
630. At 105, She Didn't Hog the Cake   2.7
631. Follow Your Instincts   3.5
632. Every Picture Tells a Story   3.9
633. Born to Lose   3.1
634. Do Half as Much Double-Checking   4.0
635. Cops That Just Say No   6.0
636. Mom Abandons Baby in Subway   4.4
637. New Law: More Marinada Than Marijuana   4.3
638. Ants in Your Plants   2.0
639. Fresh, Frozen, Canned   4.1
640. He's More His Than Hers   2.1
641. Pretty Face, Pretty Smile, Pretty Sad   2.3
642. The Wife, or the Law?   3.0
643. "Ours" and "Theirs" Elevators   6.1
644. At Least the Bridge Is Still There   4.6
645. More Guards, Fewer Drownings   4.9
646. Cause of Death: Dumbosity   2.6
647. Frowny Face in Word 2007   4.1
648. The 50% Golden Rule   3.7
649. Maybe When We All Have 4 Stomachs   2.2



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